Divorce is an emotional and upsetting situation for everyone involved.  Children are especially affected and need exceptional support and understanding throughout the process.  Understanding the typical reactions of children in various age groups will enable the parents to help the child cope with his or her turbulent and overpowering feelings.

Pre-school aged children may become clingy and experience regressive behavior during the separation and divorce period.  It is common for them to become overly frightened and confused approximately two months after the start of the proceedings, once the reality has settled in.  Children in this age range find it difficult to control and express their feelings, and they are unable to understand what is going on.  Preschoolers, especially boys, may become more aggressive, and this can lead to their being isolated from their peers at school.

Children aged six to nine years old exhibit great sadness when their parents divorce.  These children are more apt to talk about their feelings than preschoolers, but they tend to cry about the situation more often.  Six to nine year olds, especially boys, may become more aggressive as they attempt to deal with their overwhelming feelings.  This age group may also try to talk the parents into becoming a couple again.

Exaggerated anger over their parents’ divorce is common for children aged nine to eleven years old.  These children have a tendency to blame their parents and may end up rejecting one of the parents, typically the parent they live with.  Girls in this age group may become withdrawn, and the boys may become aggressive.  School performance sometimes suffers because of the child’s emotional state.

Adolescents generally experience a great deal of anger and pain when their parents divorce.  Children in this age group may feel like they need to take on more responsibilities than necessary, such as taking care of younger siblings and being concerned about the family’s future.  Adolescents need to feel supported and understood by their parents during this time, even though these children may be presenting themselves as being in control and handling adult-like concerns.  Children in this age group are able to express their emotions and feelings better than younger children.  Through honest discussions with the parents, it is possible that the adolescent will be able to forge a better relationship with one or both parents.  Poor school performance may become an issue for adolescents as they struggle with strong emotions.