The decision to end a marriage is one that affects the spouses, their children, the extended families and close friends.  The spouses should have extensive discussions with each other regarding the decision before divorce proceedings are begun.  In most divorce cases, the spouses are on different emotional levels, since one spouse is usually more in favor of the divorce. 

The spouse desiring the divorce needs to communicate his or her wishes in a sensitive, caring manner.  The partner will more than likely experience shock, anxiety, and stress upon hearing the announcement.  This may result in resentment, anger, bitterness, and accusations.  The spouse requesting the divorce may feel anxious about the possible reactions of the partner, but he or she needs to anticipate the reactions and respond in a sensible and understanding way.  Explanations should be honest, clear, and direct.

Once the request for a divorce is out in the open, the couple may want to seek the advice of counselors, trusted family members, or close friends.  A counselor will probably give the most objective advice, but family and friends can offer valuable advice as well.  The couple may be able to sort through and solve some of the marital issues without proceeding with the divorce. 

The decision to divorce should not be made quickly.  The spouses need to consider how the divorce will affect their children and how everyone’s life will change as a result of the divorce.  Sometimes one or both of the spouses will need to accept a lower standard of living after the divorce.  Long term effects need to be determined and discussed.

The emotions of everyone involved in a divorce will tend to be unstable for quite some time.  It is better for all concerned if the couple remains on track with their decision, whether it is to stay together and work on the marriage or to begin divorce proceedings.  Wavering on the decision will result in emotions remaining unstable and perhaps volatile.

The couple needs to immediately make short and long range plans for both themselves and their children.  Living arrangements, caring for the children, and financial plans should be thoroughly discussed.  It is less stressful and less costly if the spouses can reach agreements regarding the major areas of concern without involving a solicitor.  General advice from a solicitor, however, is recommended for both spouses before beginning the divorce process.